Tomatoes and steak knives aside, I made/kept some really great friends during my time at HUGSR.
The farther removed I am from undergrad, the more I realize those years were a bit of a lost cause for me. I was a stupid college kid. The odds are I was much dumber in college than I was in high school. This makes sense to me. High school - trauma and all - is still a time of increasing competence. At least, it was for me.
I had been living in the same house since the first grade, same school friends since then, same church since forever, etc. That was my world, and by the time I was 18, it's fair to say I had figured out how to exist in a house on Creekside with my family, in a school called Berkner, on two soccer teams, in the school band, with the BRCC youth group, etc. That was my circle and I had explored it's outer limits and could move within it really well.
I think it might be fair to say that this is the case for most middle-class, suburban kids. I think it's probably also fair to say that these are the same kids who go to college and, like me, become complete idiots. I would argue that the average High School Senior is less of an idiot than the average college Freshman. Of course, it's the Senior's fault that the Freshman is such an idiot, the mistake being that the high school senior thinks he/she has THE world figured out, when in fact, he/she has only figured out THEIR world. Thus, when they move outside of "their world" and into a new one, they take with them this feeling of having it all figured it out, when they ought to be thinking that they are, once again, complete babes in the world.
At least, that's the mistake I made. I was a dumb freshman. I didn't know anything about the new world (tiny though it was) that enveloped in the mythical Harding bubble. Had I known better, I would have done a lot of things differently. I'll leave it at that. For the present, it's enough to say that I have lost or failed to maintain most of the relationships I made in college. A lot of this, I think, is natural. Distance and time have a lot to do with it - when you aren't eating with the same people every day, being made to stay in after 11pm with the same people every night, etc., you're naturally going to drift apart. I don't really regret this about my college years as much as I have tried to learn from it.
At one point or another, we all must learn that it takes a strong bond to overcome the separation of time and distance that comes with the increasing speed of life, regardless of where or during what period of life that friendship was made. This is what I learned from my time in Searcy and I've tried to apply it to my time in Memphis. Thankfully, I had some friends who transitioned with me.
To the big three: Bob, Bobby, and Greg - thank you. Brother Bob, you're welcome for the use of the shower on the days you biked to school. Thanks for being the best conversationalist I know and for volunteering to stick around in the library so we can have instant access to the next big idea or great book. Bobby, blessings in Africa. For the two Bobs, here's to good food. Greg, we took the most classes together and I always appreciated your critical perspectives. I wasn't often thinking ahead to where you were, but you were generous in helping me see that the road was there. I also really appreciate you laughing when I told Dr. Powell that Jesus was my favorite early church history figure on the first day of class of our first class ever at HUGSR.
To Robert Meyer, Dorn Muscar (ping pong champion and co-creator of HUGSR Home Run Derby), Heath Amos (#1 Star Wars fan), Jeremy Garman (snores louder than me), Mac Sandlin, Justin McCreary (dry wit connoiseur, Stella-watcher), Amy Hagedorn (matchmaker), and anyone else who ever dined with us at New Hong Kong - thanks for making life in the cave bearable. To the Maccabees, you know who you are.
I suppose there is a risk in naming names. There's a good chance I forgot someone, but there's a better chance that whoever I forgot doesn't read this blog. The point is, by the time I arrived in Memphis, I had made enough mistakes to know that the relationships I forged in Memphis or brought with me from Searcy ought to be pursued with intention and cherished. They would be a part of my spiritual community for as long as I was here. I'm still here and I haven't forgotten. So, to my HUGSR friends, may the bond of Christ supercede whatever distance or time may come between us. Thank you, and if you're ever interested, I think Yi Bao still remembers my order.
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