The Fall

Go to yahoo fantasy sports, click on the college football pick 'em, and join my league (http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/college)

Group #: 22148
Password: heisman

The first 50 get a spot! Fall is upon us!

French Criticism

From Jean Vanier, in Becoming Human:

"But communities that start out as healthy places of belonging can become too closed, rich, and elitist. What is the hunger for power that groups so readily acquire? Members come together to confirm each other's value. Communities can become like clubs for self-congratulation and flattery, status symbols of mediocrity. Rather than opening up to others, such groups close in on themselves. They lead to the death of the spirit."

Sound familiar to anyone?

Praying the Absurd

The other day, at a busy intersection in town, I stopped at a red light beside a woman holding a sign asking for some kind of help. Truthfully, I prefer not to sit by and do nothing when I have something to offer.

Thankfully, I did have some cash with me. I don't usually carry cash, which I may use to my advantage when asked for favors by people such as this woman. As an aside, non-perishable food would have been best, I think. Keep a bad in your car for such an occasion as this. Or perhaps food stamps or coupons. I will say the restaurant coupons (e.g., McDonalds) are tricky because I'd rather not super-size America anymore than it is, but all the same, it's probably better than nothing.

I digress. The thing is, when I gave the lady my cash, she started crying. She said, "Thank you so much, I've had to prostitute myself to feed my children." And then she walked away. In hindsight, I'm not even sure this lady was wearing pants. It really could have been just a long shirt. Regardless, my window goes back up and I am back in my air-conditioned cocoon of comfort. Except I'm not comfortable. In a movement of the Spirit, my lips uttered these words, "Oh God, please let that not be true. I would much rather be taken advantage of than that poor woman be living the life she just described. Please, God, let that story be a lie."

I tend not to believe the stories I hear. I recall a friend and I hearing a story from a guy one day, and the following week, she heard the same guy tell the same story in a different part of town. Weird. Dishonest. Way to give panhandlers a bad name, right? Wrong. Part of being a follower of Christ has never included the right never to be taken advantage of. In fact, it may be the exact opposite.

Put simply, we need more absurd prayers. Call it The Sucker's Prayer. It might sound like this:

"Father, I just did something the world might consider stupid. I gave a drunk money. I talked to a panhandler. I opened the door when the Jehovahs Witnesses knocked. I talked to my crazy neighbor. I paid for the meal of the people who held the door for me when I entered the restaurant. I picked up a hitchhiker. I stopped to help someone push their car into the gas station parking lot. By all accounts, Lord, it was stupid. I could have been shot, stabbed, robbed, punched, kissed, bothered and annoyed, or even late. On the other hand, God, you could have not been glorified had I not done that ridiculous thing. And, to me, that's absurd. Why would I ever choose not to glorify you? So let me be a sucker. Let the world take what it will, only let me give it all away before it asks. Amen - let it be so - hallelujah!"

(For those who read the first version, I decided to take out the part about Jesus being a sucker. He wasn't really. So now, this prayer is not in his name. Get over it.)

In case anyone might miss the point of what I am writing, it's this: you probably need to be taken advantage of more than you are. Americans have more rights than Christians, but I'd still rather be a Christian.

Keeping it in the Family

Our family is growing, but not like that. Like all great romances, it was never just about a boy and a girl. Let's be honest, that one is a bit boring. It's been done before. No, the best romances have a supporting cast. The once and jealous boyfriend. The kooky family. The comic relief friend ensemble. The dog(s). And that's what it is for us. To start, it was never Nick and Jesse, but Jesse and Owens. Owens is the elder statesman. The wizened, grizzled veteran. The bum without enough teeth to keep his tongue in his month.

This one about sums it up for Owens. He's a heavy sleeper who has only about 5-10 minutes of true activity per day. For the rest of the day, he's on his bum doing nothing. I will say this, though. He loves Sundays because it means he gets to lay on the couch with me and watch some football.

Adding Moses has certainly brought more frenzied action to the house. But some things are still the same. For one, both are attentive to noise. Noise means potential for food or attention, either of which both dogs are happy to beg for.

This is the usual state of things. If the source of the noise turns out not to have food or attention, Moses looks elsewhere for the two. Owens looks for something else: peace and quiet.

This one turned out well. I finally got them both to look.

Moses being Moses. Owens being Owens.

Another good example of Owens' seeming disinterest, and Moses' all-consuming curiosity. As you can see from the pictures, Owens doesn't move much. All in all, it's been fun adjusting to life with two dogs. They balance each other well. Owens has taught Moses how to be more of a lounger, which is conducive to life in the Faris house. And Moses has taught Owens to eat all of his food at once, because otherwise Moses will eat it. And we have learned that two dogs means you have to vacuum twice as often than when you only had one.

The Kitchen Sink

I am so ready for football. Saturdays are busy enough, but Sundays could use a little something, like four hours of refreshing three different fantasy league pages.

I wish Nick being Nick was an accepted phrase, at least in our house, if not everywhere. It just goes to show that if you set the bar low, you can get away with a lot more than the average citizen. Note to criminals: that does not apply to you. Here's my take on Manny, since you asked. It's a bittersweet parting. I know few Sox fans. Even fewer among them are still really upset about the Nomar trade or Johnny Demon's shark-jump to the Evil Empire. I'm not. Do I miss Pedro? Sure. Do I miss him pitching? Apparently not, poor guy's arm fell off. If Manny wants to put himself in league with those characters, let him.

The operable metaphor, for me, is the hot chick/idiot. She's an idiot. You know it won't last, and it costs waaaay too much to make it work. At the same time, SHE'S HOT. One of the hottest chicks you've ever seen, as a matter of fact. But now, she's 36, and the crazy is taking over hard core. The crazy outweighs the hottness, and even though you've enjoyed it, it's time to let her go swim in stupid seas. Did I take that metaphor too far? Yes. Yes I did, but it;s still coherent, and that's more than I can say for Woody Paige.

I WOULD LIKE EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT THE PREVIOUS METAPHOR IS IN NO WAY RELATED TO ANY RELATIONSHIP IN WHICH I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED. IT MOST ESPECIALLY IS NOT RELATABLE TO MY WIFE. AT ALL. SHE IS, BY ALL ACCOUNTS, HOT AND INTELLIGENT. THESE ARE JUST TWO OF THE MANY REASONS WHY I MARRIED HER.

Finally, we weren't winning anything with Manny. He decided that. So I wish him the best next year when he's making 20 mill a year with the Giants. Just a guess, but it makes sense in a Brian Sabean kind of way, right?

Interesting take on the USA Coaches Top 25 here.