I Can't Handle The Truth

Yes, Jack Nicholson, go ahead and scream in my face. I came to a bittersweet realization yesterday at the post office. On a side note, there is a Dwight Shrute look-alike who works at the PO on Southern. Maybe I will sneak a picture on my cell phone next time I am in there. Back to the sad part, the Post Office is running a special on Star Wars mailing stuff (stamps, envelopes, etc.). The ploy is to get people to vote on their favorite stamps (www.uspsjedimaster.com), use the envelopes, and potentially win a trip for four to Star Wars Celebration IV, taking place in LA in part to commemorate the 30 year anniversary of the original Star Wars movies coming out. It's the biggest Star Wars celebration on earth, blah, blah, blah.

Here's the problem. I love Star Wars. A lot. I was not born when the first ones came out in theaters, but I grew up watching them every year during Thanksgiving and Christmas, and am okay with being a huge nerd. Admittedly, I was driven to another level when the new youth minister, hired my seventh grade year, showed me the entire room in his house full of Star Wars action figures, vehicles, etc. We used to go to toy shows together; I'm a huge nerd. This is a picture of the Man Room on St. Nick - me and the few tributes that decorate my bookshelves (I won't tell you how much Star Wars related stuff is in boxes at my parent's house in Dallas). I would like to add that, although it may not be clear, my youth minster's kids gave me a darth vader cookie jar as a wedding present. It's awesome. So it's been established, I am an uber-nerd/dork. But really, and here's the sad part. I WAS an uber-nerd/dork.

I went to the first showing of each of the three new movies. I liked the first one. I'll even take Jar-Jar. Heck, C-3PO is annoying too. The second one, eh... not as much. By the time the third one showed up, I was just glad it was over. By the time the third movie came out, the trilogy had been remade. I give you the Matrix, and most of all, I give you the Lord of the Rings. And here's where it gets sad, George Lucas screwed up the most successful movie franchise ever. Yeah, a new record at the Box Office happens every year, but when you look at the multi-generational fan base, with books, movies, toys, all of that, Star Wars is still at the top. And now one half of the franchise is clearly not even close to being as good as the other half, which was filmed with now-obsolete technology and acting that was almost as bad. Sound like the odd ranting of an uber-dork? Sound like maybe you don't really care, and it's not as bad/sad as I am making it sound?

Well, here's the actual sad part. People - ie, grown men and women - will be killing themselves to score some free tickets to the biggest dork show on earth so that they can dress up like movie characters from a sorry movie franchise that peaked 25 years ago. This is a sad, sad thing. This should not be. As a self-respecting fan of Star Wars (a paradox, some might argue), I am renouncing my unashamed fandom. I am now practicing moderation and will admit that I am somewhat ashamed. I will sit silently as someone mocks Star Wars fans as idiots and dorks and losers, and defend them no longer. Let the mocking begin.

I wish I could link to Triumph the Insult Comic Dog in line at a movie release, but due to some of the questionable content, I thought it better just to mention it and let you decide if you want to watch it. Instead, I give you my second favorite video (and a somewhat doctored up version) of one of the greatest heroes of all time: The Star Wars Kid.