Well, after trying and failing to think of anything other than the wedding for the last 30 minutes, and failed, I guess I'll talk about the wedding.
Things are going into crazy mode, like Homer with no food and no beer.
And while, I knew this would happen, I really have no idea it would be like this. I'm starting to realize that about other things, too. Like the epic fights that occur for no reason the week before the wedding. Every married person has a story about theirs, and it almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy:"Well, I'm getting married this week, and I love this person and want to spend the rest of my life with them, but I'm too tired to care about that. I think I'll just selfishly act like a jerk and hope she can take it."
That's the mind of a genius right there, or it could be a sign of what the french call, "les incompetent." At least I'm not getting married to Buzz's girlfriend. Woof.
In other news, the Dallas Mavericks seemed destined to be spectators in this year's NBA chamionship, having lost to both San Antonio and Phoenix this week. Tough schedule, but a great opportunity to prove we have what it takes. That's right, "we." I am an integral part of the team, and had I watched either game, I'm certain the outcome would have been different. Being a loyal, but hopeless fan, I've decided that "we" need a curse. So, without further ado, I give you curse contestant #1, The Derek Harper Curse.
Derek Harper played 16 seasons in the NBA, 12 with the Mavs. He also had stints with the Knicks and the Magic. Derek Harper played on a team that made the playoffs 10 times, but only made it to the big dance once, losing in 7 to the Houston Rockets. Looking at the Knicks and Magic since his departure, especially this year, one can easily see the curse at work. For the Mavs, however, the curse is even more twisted, as it tempts us even more than the Knicks and Magic combined. I give you last year's playoffs series against the Suns, and the failure to foul Steve Nash play (performed to perfection by Jason Terry) which is comparable to Bill Buckner's infmaous through-the-legs ground ball error. Clearly, Derek Harper is responsible for this lapse in defensive judgment. He even LOOKS like Jason Terry. Where is Derek Harper today, you ask? He's in Dallas, doing pre-game, post-game, and play-by-play analysis for the Mavericks. Until this man is completely eradicated from the Dallas Mavericks, we will never win a championship.
This is fun. Sometime soon, I will present other theories, including the Roy Tarpley, Fat Lever, Popeye Jones, Detleft Schrempf, and the Defense-Wins-Championships Conspiracy Theories.
Did I mention that I'm getting married in five days?